Potty Pottymouth.

It has come to my attention that my friend Potty could possibly be someone worth writing about. My friend read my blog last night and she's like I WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT POTTY. What she really meant to say is WOW. THIS GUY IS A FUCKING WRECK AND HIS LIFE, AS COMPLETELY FUCKED UP AS IT IS, IS REALLY HILARIOUS. I WANT TO KNOW MORE.

So where do I begin with him? Okay, so we have established that his life is a wreck, he's my new bestfriend and he's crazy. Okay, maybe we didn't talk about the crazy. Let's begin that now. First let me say is that he categorized himself into his very own "good" category. But that is because he is from Michigan and apparently only good people come from Michigan and they must be Dutch and Protestant. That's cool with me. He is probably right about that. Everyone in this world is fucked up anyway. I am definitely one of those fucked up people.

BUT WAIT. HERE IS THE KICKER.

Potty, in no way, shape or form a "GOOD" guy. He is always on the prowl for women. But he prowls not out of not getting ass and he's not a creepo. He just enjoys being a pimp. I will admit he's a good looking guy, but he is crazy so in my eyes he is no longer good looking. Anyway, Potty juggles like 7 bitches at a time. Then when he dumps one for no good reason he's like ERIKA. I HAVE THIS BITCH AS A STALKER. WHAT DID I DO WRONG. Then I say to him, WHEN YOUARE SEXING 7 BITCHES AT ONCE AND CALL ONE BY A DIFFERENT NAME IN THE MIDDLE OF SEXY TIME, OF COURSE SHE IS GOING OT BE A BITCH AND LURK YOUR SHIT. He has this problem a lot. The last one he told me about and sent me pictures of was RIDICULOUSLY HOT. We called her Hot Donna, like the character in That 70's Show, but she looked nothing like her. This "Hot Donna" was actually hot. I told him if I were a lesbian I would scissor her. Even though I found out she was indeed crazy I still think I'd put on a strap on and bend her over because she really is that hot. But I guess after Potty had put his naughty bits in her she went crazy after he didn't talk to her for like 24 hours and started texting him with, "I KNOW YOU HAVE ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND. DON'T LIE TO ME. HOW COULD YOU!"

So then he gave her the boot. Of course. It would have happened anyway, sooner or later, but I think he should have put up with the crazy and given her the sex a few more times. Or at least he should have for my sake and told me about how her titties bounced. I am telling you... I am not a lesbian but this chick is totally hot. I am jealous he got to touch her.

Okay, so where am I. We have established that he has a fondess for hot women and that he is crazy.

I think I also mentioned his an associate here in the office. So now that he's officially an attorney he decided he should hang himself because he chose the wrong career. This morning I walk into the office kitchen and look into his fishbowl office to wave hello - he quickly grabbed his phone and wrapped the chord around his neck to show me how much he loves his job. I figure it must be bad today, because normally he'll just make a gun with his fingers and shoot himself in head. It's funny because he's making good money, but over all I think he would rather lay bricks and sex hot chicks rather than use his brain in a difficult job.

I guess this is all I will write about Potty for today. I mean, I can't give you all the FABULOUS details about him all in one post, can I? No.

However, I did tell him that I am blogging about him and he told me the following:

"Please post that I am looking for a 'Swedish Super Vixen.'"

So, if you're a SWEDISH SUPER SEXY HOT VIXEN please e-mail me your photo and a little about yourself to ERIKA@CASCULTURE.COM - if you are hot enough, I will send your photos his way and I'm sure he will be giving you the sex within 24 hours from receiving your sexy photo.