All I want is a bucket of fries.

I'm at work and it's almost lunch time. But it's not like I'm ever included in this "lunch schedule" bullshit because I waltz in the office around 10:30. At least this morning my excuse was I had to pick up the Rotweiler at the pet hotel and they don't bathe the dogs until late morning. Usually I come in like a zombie with my hair unkempt and my right eye rolled in the back of my head. I usually do not move from my chair until after 1 pm. You'd think I was a raging alcoholic or I was a full-time stripper, but you would be sorely mistaken. I just naturally am a vampire, and I currently feel my skin burning off from the light creeping through my boss' window. I don't see why people need to function during the day. Day time is overrated - and this is because when you're doing something illegal you would absolutely get caught doing it.

So now I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee, a whole bunch of fake sugar and fake cream in it with a hard boiled egg. This will be my fabulous lunch. I wish I could teach myself to be bulemic so I can just eat an entire bucket of french fries from McDonalds, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST FOR YOU, and after spending about 10 minutes being really satisfied and guilty, I could just run to the bathroom and vomit them back up. My problem with this is that I'm afraid if I ever develop bulemia, it would highly interfere with my dick-sucking capabilities. That is my livihood, and probably the only reason I have kept my boyfriend for so many years.

Anyway, the point is that I'm really thinking about french fries. This is because I'm a lard ass and I hate dieting, but I eat healthy forthemostpart anyway. This weekend I ate pizza with basil, tomato and a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF GARLIC when it should have been frech fries with a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF GARLIC and salt. At least I wouldn't be sitting here completely miserable thinking about fucking french fries.

I can no longer put together words. I can't believe it still feels like someone took a massive shit in my head. I need to get it together today.