London Bridge is Falling Down, Falling Down...

... and something something something about a fair lady but I don't know any fair lady's so let's just say London's mighty bridge is falling down.

Also, that song is my good friend Dani's ring tone. It reminds me of special children. Somehow that ties into how I feel about Dani. Anyway, now that I know she knows my blog exists and that our other friends read it I guess I can start publicly embarrassing her by letting the world know that she loves it when I eat corn and shit on her chest. She smears it all over her titties and like a monkey digging for mites, she picks off each corn kernel and eats it. This scat-fest goes way back, back to like the first week I met her however many years ago and realized she was just as completely fucking nutso as I am. I guess this is why we get along sometimes. The other times it's because we're being drama queens and complaining about how our Boo Boo's don't fuck us in public enough. Oh, and if I have not mentioned this: The Boo Boo has returned. "The Return of the Boo Boo" will be publicized later, feel free to come back and check that story. It's rather lengthy and semi-complicated but at least it's entertaining. It's like a mix of The Notebook and Wedding Crashers, if I had to sum up my love-life story into a movie plot.

Back to the origin of my post... I mentioned London because now somehow my trip to Europe is getting complicated and has now been extended an extra 3 days to spend in London. What's irritating is all I want is to sit in a cafe in Amsterdam and smoke a shitton of pot (and again, I don't know how to measure this - but in marijuana grams, I'd say it's A LOT) but that doesn't seem to be happening. At a minimum, this stupid trip will force me to get over my fucking plane anxiety because I have like 98123791287318972 planes to get on. I'm flying to London, to Madrid and to Milan - and possibly to either Munich or Frankfurt if we can extend the trip another few days. It's like I will be retardedly plane hopping throughout Europe, without rhyme or reason but I guess as an American traveling Europe during a recession I shouldn't really complain. All I can say is that I'm glad my money's in my vagina and not in the stock market or in real estate. At least my pussy has appreciated in value. Sometimes I wish I was a virgin so I could sell myself on Ebay for something in the millions like that one chick did and sold her virginity online and made The Sexy with some fat old European fucktwat who flew to some brothel in Vegas to play "who's bratwurst is in my puss?"

I guess for now I say, fuck you. Goodnight.