I'll kill you - ALL OF YOU.

I think I should pirate Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and then watch it with the other two under my WTF blanket, while being elbow deep in a bag of Kettle's sea salt & vinegar chips . I feel like I'm long over due for an Underworld marathon before I go on my trip. I need a day of full pampering before I go. Too bad that would remove my funds for spending on vinegars and cheeses in Europe, so I better ask my dear friend for some edible greens. I think having a ridiculous body high and melting into my bed and pillows would be just as good as a massage. It's also about $150 cheaper. hahahaha. awesome.

So in all this excitement I've completely neglected my class. I have a midterm on Thursday and a final the following Thursday (I'm not sure how that works either, but whatever!). I need to BUCKLE DOWN already and get my reading done. I keep saying I'm going to work on it and then I get ADD and retarded and blahdi blahdi blahdi blah. Then I think about reading and voices come out of my mouth that sound similar to this:



In other words, tomorrow I am dedicating my day to nothing but reading. I am going to have to get my ass in gear, stop looking at lists of airplane crashes (which lucky for me, they're not making me panic as a majority of them have been on either old planes or airliners that aren't owned and operated under strict rules and regulations). Before I end up failing this class, I MUST MUST MUST get my ass in gear. I did semi-well on the quiz which was surprising considering I didn't finish my reading, but I'm forcing myself to ace this stupid twat quiz otherwise I am royally screwed.

Whatever. I AM GOING TO DO WELL ON THIS TEST AND MY PLANE IS NOT GOING TO CRASH. There. Because I said it it's going to happen.

The best thing about this whole trip is that it's forcing me to not go to Portland. I should visit because I miss my Matteo and I want to meet his new lovah, but it's making me rethink this whole I WANT THE FUCK OUT OF LA bullshit. Well, I still want out. I still want a lot of things. I want long, lean legs and big tits but hey, can't have it all. But what's awesome is when I see my Aunt Luchi in a few weeks in Madrid, I'll talk to her about maybe renting a room from her or something for a few months just to get this LEAVE ME ALONE I HATE YOU stuff out of my system. I'll have to take my Molester but I'll figure that out later.

I am absolutely getting over my fear of flying though. I'm forcing myself to take myself back to that place in my childhood when I used to LOVE planes. When I'd sit on my dad's shoulders and watch the blue angels, or the B2 bomber fly overhead at shows... I used to crawl in old WWII planes, sit in the cock pits of spitfire's and run around inside most of the WWII B series bombers. I even went to some airfield to see the only standing B-36 bomber in the US. My first plane ride was from Burbank to San Fran, I remember taking a Southwest 737 as a kid to visit my dad when he was temporarily living up there for work. I remember how excited I was (and how green my mother was looking) and how the trip was on a beautiful sunny day. When I was a kid I went on a plane ride to Catalina with a friend of my mom's in his plane and spent the day there... My mom was TERRIFIED of the runway since it's literally cliff ----- runway---- cliff... But we made it. Then there were the few private lessons my dad and I took and I remember getting to fly the plane over the valley myself. If *I* didn't crash a Cessna, I guess I have some faith in the airliners out there. Ahhh... I'm working on it. I will regain my love of planes again.

All in all, I've been REALLY happy lately. No complaints. And my fear of flying will go away. :)