So.

I haven't slept in my own bed in weeks. I feel like I live out of my car and that's fine because I prefer the nomad lifestyle. I miss my dog a lot so I've been obsessively taking pictures with her when I am home. My mom complains that she "sleeps like a swastika" because my dog forces her to sleep in a position where you'd look at her and instantly think of Jewish genocide. I would feel bad for her but quite frankly, I think it's hilarious. I'm hoping one of these days I come home and find her in a Nazi uniform and watch her try blame it on my dog some way or another. Sometimes I forget that I have a ton of Jewish blood in me (as in, my grandma is an Auschwitz survivor) and although I should probably embrace that stupid religion, I wish I could bleed myself of it. I think Judaism is the dumbest religion on the planet. My reason for sincerely disliking Judaism is because Kosher eating is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Kosher Jews WASTE half of a perfectly good cow because it's not Kosher. This angers me greatly and I don't think any cow should have to die for half of it to get thrown away. Let's not even go into not eating pork (well, lots of religions are guilty of this but they don't waste HALF of a cow), not eating shell fish (HELLO, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?), not eating meat with cheese is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of and clearly Jews have terrible palates because if you have never experienced a Cuban sandwich then should probably just die... The whole idea of owning two separate tableware spreads because of said meat and cheese rule is clearly for the rich and stupid. Look, the reality is that I don't care who the fuck you worship because it's all bullshit anyway. Religion has been transposed by the wrong hands over the centuries to control you and keep you ignorant. It's when religion crosses into food that it pisses me off. So I suppose I hate all religions. It's just Judaism that makes me the angriest. Come to think of it, the funniest thing ever is when I say "Ginger Israeli" to Jamie and he automatically shakes his fist in fury. It's like Trey Parker is living in his head. I keep threatening him with the promise of a ginger Israeli. It's like I'm asking to die South Park style with disembowelment and lots of vomits.

I guess the point to this post is just to post. I need to watch what I say on here now that MY BOSSES STALK MY BLOG. I guess that's okay because they're awesome people that probably need mental help. I mean, if one takes the time to actually read my blog then clearly they need mental help. It's obvious that my bosses need mental help if they read this. I DO NOT CARE IF THEY READ THIS TO BETTER THEIR OWN LIVES TO TALK SHIT TO ME ABOUT MY BLOG. THE POINT IS THAT THEY READ MY BLOG AND THEREFORE THEY ARE COMPLETELY BATSHIT CRAZY. Love you guys. Really.