Somewhere in my out-of-car living nonsense that I do, I lost my bikini. What's worse is that I JUST got it back last week from a friend's house and it's gone again. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THAT I AM LOSING MY ONE AND ONLY BIKINI? Clearly I need to invest in more bathing suits if I'm going to be losing them on the regular. Anyway, so while I spent a night at home on Saturday night (and slept on the couch because my room no longer feels like my room anymore), the rents decided to say FUCK YOU and leave me by myself on Sunday, which was Father's Day, because they are assholes. At least I made my dad breakfast, right? I also berated him a bit on Facebook, thank God he has a sense of humor and doesn't mind that I publicly announce that one day he will be a recipient of a Darwin Award and it's completely inevitable. Trust me, my dad has managed to survive a lot of stupidity on his part that should have resulted in death or accidental amputation. Anyway, so I figured tanning would be a great option... Needless to say that I took a pair of shorts and wedged them virtually up my asshole and used a strapless bra and wham, there was my bikini. My tan lines are all screwed up because of of hiking in a sports bra. I burned for the first time in California a few days back while going up the mountain mid-day because my friend is an asshole and showed up 2 hours late for our hike. One day she will learn that TWO HOURS LATE ON HIKING TIME = 25 DEGREE DIFFERENCE. I went through four bottles of water and poured them all over myself. I felt like some sort of Smartwater commercial, only not as pathetic. When I was done with the trail and reached the peak I felt fantastic but I was still a raging bitch that I was hiking in 90+ degree weather. Anyway, here's a picture of the burn... I know the angle is awkward and that's because I was at work going OH MY GOD MY SHOULDER HURTS LIKE A BITCH and that's the best I could do in the bathroom at work to see what's on my shoulder via front shot. So, fuck you if you don't think it's funny.
I think the most eventful thing I did all weekend was make gnocchi from scratch. Sometimes I get a bug up my ass to do things and when I do I must get them done. My mom made the unfortunate mistake of wanting to spend time with me on Saturday because she misses me and she took me shopping to a restaurant supply store in the valley. As I'm filling up my cart with shit I don't need (mostly because I already own everything a serious cook could want), I was like HEY MOM, I NEED TO REPLACE MY RICER SO I'M GETTING THIS and I forced her to buy me a bitchin' ricer that blew away my old one. So, within a few hours of being home I made gnocchi for the old folks. Apparently my gnocchi board is MIA so I left them as adorable little pillows. I tried using a fork to shape them but that cumbersome task is for someone really desperate to make them look as authentic as possible. I figured since mine were light and pillowy I said fuck it on shaping them properly via fork method. Plus, my 'rents could give a rat's ass on how they look so long as they taste delicious. I figured this was relevant to my post some way or another... I guess it really wasn't. I just wanted to share my ridiculously good gnocchi.
I still have a ton to post about, but I need to get my ass going to work. I ended up sleeping in this morning until like 7 and had to get my ass back to the folks house from the north end of the valley so I'm running late today. Normally I'm home before 7 in the morning these days, so, I'm on the slow side today and will probably continue to be for the rest of the day. What's worse is that I did a big hike yesterday and my body is totally sore and I'm doing muay thai tonight. I'm doing muay thai 2-3x a week now and I feel like my body never stops hurting. I suppose that's a good thing. I'll try to get back to posting regularly, I know I've been blogger MIA. I'm working on it. I promise.
Somewhere in my out-of-car living nonsense that I do, I lost my bikini. What's worse is that I JUST got it back last week from a friend's house and it's gone again. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THAT I AM LOSING MY ONE AND ONLY BIKINI? Clearly I need to invest in more bathing suits if I'm going to be losing them on the regular. Anyway, so while I spent a night at home on Saturday night (and slept on the couch because my room no longer feels like my room anymore), the rents decided to say FUCK YOU and leave me by myself on Sunday, which was Father's Day, because they are assholes. At least I made my dad breakfast, right? I also berated him a bit on Facebook, thank God he has a sense of humor and doesn't mind that I publicly announce that one day he will be a recipient of a Darwin Award and it's completely inevitable. Trust me, my dad has managed to survive a lot of stupidity on his part that should have resulted in death or accidental amputation. Anyway, so I figured tanning would be a great option... Needless to say that I took a pair of shorts and wedged them virtually up my asshole and used a strapless bra and wham, there was my bikini. My tan lines are all screwed up because of of hiking in a sports bra. I burned for the first time in California a few days back while going up the mountain mid-day because my friend is an asshole and showed up 2 hours late for our hike. One day she will learn that TWO HOURS LATE ON HIKING TIME = 25 DEGREE DIFFERENCE. I went through four bottles of water and poured them all over myself. I felt like some sort of Smartwater commercial, only not as pathetic. When I was done with the trail and reached the peak I felt fantastic but I was still a raging bitch that I was hiking in 90+ degree weather. Anyway, here's a picture of the burn... I know the angle is awkward and that's because I was at work going OH MY GOD MY SHOULDER HURTS LIKE A BITCH and that's the best I could do in the bathroom at work to see what's on my shoulder via front shot. So, fuck you if you don't think it's funny.
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1 comment:
Can I get that same shot, but behind? YUMMM
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