Omgz Greenz

Today was St. Patrick's Day. I say WAS because it's almost over and I don't want to hear about St. Pat's anymore. In other words, today is the 1 year anniversary of when Dom's dog broke his wee wee while humping a wall and I spent St. Pat's with his sister Sabrina in the doggie ER while he was getting his pecker sewn back into place by the doctor who worshipped A Flock of Seagulls. Otherwise, St. Pat's means absolutely nothing to me. Since I'm turning into an old, frigid bitch that also means I don't wear green and I disown anyone that's excited to drink green beer. The only holiday that's important that is coming up is my birthday, which is this Saturday, the 21st. I suggest mark it on your calendars, put alarms on your phone to remind you of my wonderful birthday and DO NOT forget to buy me a birthday present. If you do not buy me something wonderful like a waffle iron or tampons I will probably cut your dick off or stuff you like a build a bear and you don't get to choose your fate.

As for WHAT I am doing for my birthday I have no idea. I remember when I used to have a birthday month which slowly dwindled down to a week or two and now I don't even give a rat's ass about the actual day. I think Dom's present to me should be him just working his magical fingers and massage me all day because I think he's better than a majority of the masseuses I've used over the years. Just FYI, that is how he sealed the deal with me almost 6 years ago. He gave me a mind-blowing body massage and I think a couple of hours later I called my day spa and fired them.

What I really want for my birthday is to magically be on a plane flying into Madrid/Barajas but I guess shit like work gets in the way. wtf. I need to make a carbon copy of myself and send my clone to work and to stay back and watch the dogs while I go eat my way across Spain. I guess I'll continue to wait to go back until August but this will be terrible
and I will probably bitch, whine, complain, throw temper tantrums and stomp my feet until then. As long as the moment I land in Madrid I can get a deep fried morzilla sandwhich I guess I can survive until then but just barely. I will have to make monthly trips to the Spanish market in BFE to keep myself satisfied until then.