YUP!

I'll just come out at say it: I HAVE A GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND. There. That was my announcement. Clearly I've been hiding him for a while now and I can't anymore. Then again there's just no point to hiding someone that means the world to me, right? I thought so. He's not someone that doesn't need announcement because I plan on letting go of because I get bored easily. He's here to stay for a long time. :)

The main reason why I have neglected this blog is because I normally blog when I'm at home and I'm never home anymore, I'm always at my boyfriend's house. I even started blogging early in the morning while having breakfast but then I got too lazy to do that since my mind's normally not fully functioning and my thoughts can't even translate to full sentences. Tonight's one of these rare occasions where I'm having a bout of insomnia. It's only 1 something and I'm wide awake and I quit drinking coffee in the early afternoon, yet I'm still wired. It's probably from my brazlian jiu jitsu class, and being pumped at how much I'm progressing, that I'm still wired. My studio makes me completely high on life all the time. I should post new pictures soon, because my body is looking fucking insane because of what this sport is doing to me. Anyway, Jamie (my boyfriend) has completely cured my insomnia. I don't know what it is about him, but he's the only person that gets me to sleep even at 10:30 at night when I'm borderline kicking my feet and throwing temper tantrums to get me to sleep. It's not even that he fucks my brains out and then I sleep. It's that he genuinely has something deeper within him that my soul or something within me loves because all he has to do is play with my hair and cuddle me and I'm out like a light and I'm more than happy to be awake when he gets up at 6 am. Strange, really. Tonight I actually put him to bed because I wanted to stay up to blog, I just didn't think I'd be up this late while doing so.

So, to answer any and all potential questions, I'm going to just spit it all out and hope that I don't offend everyone which I probably will anyway.

This relationship came straight out of left field. I honestly never saw this one coming and would have never guessed it in a million years. My boyfriend is someone I've been friends with for over a decade, that was a neighbor at one in point time, who was good friends with my brother for many years (still is), whose mother knows my mother, who was someone that I hung out with just as friends and we'd go hiking and shoot the shit... Most importantly, someone I've been close to for a long time, but still not close enough for him to never cross the platonic line.

It started with him being brilliant in math and me needing math help... Funny because you look at him and with his shaved head, half sleeve and other misc. tattoos you'd never think he's as brilliant as he is because society dictates that anyone that has tattoos and a shaved head is an idiot and probably a thug. Anyway, one day when I needed help (actually, this was my 3rd or 4th time needing his help), I went over and he answered his door with his shirt off, all sweaty from painting and moving furniture around in his room, beautifully tanned and toned, the sweat glistening like someone sprayed him with glitter and then shined a light on him, covered in red clay-colored paint and I almost shit my pants. All these years I had no idea he was as insanely hot as he is. I had never really paid attention because he was always just Jamie and I never thought much of it. Plus all these years I've been attracted to sexually questionable men, whose clothing would always be more fitted for thin women, and somewhere within that metrosexual-look loving I once had, I assumed that any guy that wore a t-shirt that didn't show off his muscles was fat. Fuck, I was wrong. GOD DAMN WAS I WRONG. All this time I've known how much we have in common, and we'd always talk via FB how we need to hang more because we have so much in common, but I never saw him in that light until my hot meter went off because i am as disgusting as your typical dirt bag male deep down inside. The reality is that if I am going to accidentally breed, it better be with someone that will give me beautiful children. I have basic physical requirements for a partner: green eyes, straight teeth, olive skin, killer body. I WILL NOT DATE OUTSIDE OF THOSE REQUIREMENTS. I CAN'T. I WON'T. IMPOSSIBLE. I HAVE TRIED AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT. I have had some insanely gorgeous men come my way with brown eyes and I can't do it because I can't get passed that they're fucking brown. I hate brown. Brown comes out of my asshole. I don't want to look into someone's eyes and see that it is the same color of fucking bodily waste. NO THANK YOU. So, not only does he meet those very basic requirements, but he shatters my requirement by having a dick made for pornography a la Boogie Nights, and is so muscular and strong that he tosses me around like a rag doll in a way that will make any S&M junkie jealous. Are YOU jealous? You should be. Sometimes I get jealous of myself.

Beyond the physical side of this relationship, we have everything in common. We're both only children of very similar family backgrounds. We love the same things, we laugh at the same things, we're twisted in the head in the same ways and we just fit each other perfectly. He doesn't want to change me and I don't want to change him. I think the most important thing in a relationship is when you're with someone who wants to be with YOU - not a fictitious you. If suddenly you change your ENTIRE LIFE in the sense of hobbies and thought processes for someone you just met then you're insecure and probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you figure out what you want to do with YOURSELF, not what someone else wants to do with you. I guess if you're okay with being a project, then go for it - otherwise, that's an insecurity issue. The beauty about my relationship is that we're there. We're not wanting to change one another. We're not looking for things that aren't there. I know him, he knows me - and what's on the table is what's on the table and there's nothing more to look for. Nothing fell, nothing's missing and no one will bring anything to add to it. All we can do is build off of what's there and hope it stands strong. :)

MMA.

So I haven't posted in a while. I keep saying that someone should revoke me of all my blogger status but then I'd never update and the one fan I have (and this fan is possibly just a figment of my imagination) would have absolutely no clue what's going on in my awesome life. Sad to say that my life has been completely repetitive though. I haven't been a black-out drunk since I almost got banned from my favorite restaurant like 2 months ago. I've been back a few times since but have toned it down significantly so I don't lose access to goat tacos which mean more to me than drinking, seriously. All I know is that the waiters think I'm hilarious and always give me free shots of tequila just to amp me up. I suppose I can't complain about that. I went there for lunch with my bosses recently and the waiter knew me. One of them commented how I must be a drunk if I walk in and he's like HEY YOU WERE JUST HERE YESTERDAY, YOU GOING TO DRINK AGAIN TODAY? Thanks waiter guy, thanks for embarrassing me in front of the bosses. Good thing I love my bosses dearly and we give each other constant shit. I'm already positive they think I'm a drunk so none of it was a surprise to them.

I think I posted that I started Muay Thai last month or so. Well, my trainer that trains me in Muay takes Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with another amazing trainer. One way or another I am now apart of a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu studio and splitting time between both disciplines will be taking over my life. I plan on being able to kick everyone's ass that deserves a damn beat down... and this is a lot of people. i figure if i cannot legally kill someone I will find a reason to make it arguably reasonable as to WHY I needed to choke someone out. The good thing about the possibility of going in front of a judge due to assault will be the fact that i'm tiny and i can be quite adorable and puppy-eyed when need be. I know, I know, you're thinking I'm lying but as an only child, when my mom learned to say "NO" to me, I had to go beg from dad and my adorableness is what got me everything I wanted. This method still works and I'm an old hag. I might as well use my good looks and charm while I still have them. Time's ticking, I don't have that much time left.

Recently I purchased a heavy Muay Thai bag of my own and I'm literally gutting my parent's garage and turning it into my own practice studio. In other words, I can officially get angry and NOT need to throw things, or drown my sorrows in mass amounts of alcohol, when I don't have access to a bag. I will always have bag access now. :) Funny how I've always wanted to get into MMA one way or another and my lazy ass never did. Now I can't picture life without it, nor do I want to. I just hope my limbs stay strong enough so I never have to quit.

Picture Post.

Life over the past couple of days... at least what i could capture, anyway.












:)

From bikini to muay practice.

Before anyone bothers to ask, yes, I do work out at home in a regular bra. I figured if I can use it for a bikini top, and if I can also wear it for running around like a maniac while black-out drunk and getting in trouble, I can use it to work out in as well.

I'm in love with muay thai. I guess I should say that I love punching and kicking shit. I love being covered in bruises and having my body constantly hurt. I love being so winded that my lungs burn and I feel like I'm choking on my own spit. I love being drenched in my own sweat. This is seriously all I want to do in my free time. I'm at the point if I never socialize again, I'm totally okay with that, so long as I have a heavy bag to make fuck on.

I guess the point to this post is that I just wanted to reiterate my fucking awesomeness. I guess I can consider myself somewhat gangster now because I officially know how to throw bows. But I'm just a step up above gangster because my bows aren't for dancing, but for actually hurting people in the face. I wonder if I'll ever get to the level of doing competitive muay thai. One of these days I'd love to go ape shit bananas on a bitch. Hopefully I'll get that chance.

I guess in other news, I'm getting a bug up my ass to jump out of an airplane. I don't know what happened to me in recent months that suddenly I'm some combative and adrenaline junky, but I think plane jumping is next on my list of things to do. I said I wanted to do boxing and now I can't picture my life without it. Let's just pray that I don't become addicted to something that crazy. The likelihood of me dying on my first jump is slim since I'll be tandem with a professional, but the more I do it, the greater my chances get. So, once should be enough. Then maybe in the future I'll get in a shark tank. One step at a time.

Makeshift bikini.

Somewhere in my out-of-car living nonsense that I do, I lost my bikini. What's worse is that I JUST got it back last week from a friend's house and it's gone again. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THAT I AM LOSING MY ONE AND ONLY BIKINI? Clearly I need to invest in more bathing suits if I'm going to be losing them on the regular. Anyway, so while I spent a night at home on Saturday night (and slept on the couch because my room no longer feels like my room anymore), the rents decided to say FUCK YOU and leave me by myself on Sunday, which was Father's Day, because they are assholes. At least I made my dad breakfast, right? I also berated him a bit on Facebook, thank God he has a sense of humor and doesn't mind that I publicly announce that one day he will be a recipient of a Darwin Award and it's completely inevitable. Trust me, my dad has managed to survive a lot of stupidity on his part that should have resulted in death or accidental amputation. Anyway, so I figured tanning would be a great option... Needless to say that I took a pair of shorts and wedged them virtually up my asshole and used a strapless bra and wham, there was my bikini. My tan lines are all screwed up because of of hiking in a sports bra. I burned for the first time in California a few days back while going up the mountain mid-day because my friend is an asshole and showed up 2 hours late for our hike. One day she will learn that TWO HOURS LATE ON HIKING TIME = 25 DEGREE DIFFERENCE. I went through four bottles of water and poured them all over myself. I felt like some sort of Smartwater commercial, only not as pathetic. When I was done with the trail and reached the peak I felt fantastic but I was still a raging bitch that I was hiking in 90+ degree weather. Anyway, here's a picture of the burn... I know the angle is awkward and that's because I was at work going OH MY GOD MY SHOULDER HURTS LIKE A BITCH and that's the best I could do in the bathroom at work to see what's on my shoulder via front shot. So, fuck you if you don't think it's funny.

I think the most eventful thing I did all weekend was make gnocchi from scratch. Sometimes I get a bug up my ass to do things and when I do I must get them done. My mom made the unfortunate mistake of wanting to spend time with me on Saturday because she misses me and she took me shopping to a restaurant supply store in the valley. As I'm filling up my cart with shit I don't need (mostly because I already own everything a serious cook could want), I was like HEY MOM, I NEED TO REPLACE MY RICER SO I'M GETTING THIS and I forced her to buy me a bitchin' ricer that blew away my old one. So, within a few hours of being home I made gnocchi for the old folks. Apparently my gnocchi board is MIA so I left them as adorable little pillows. I tried using a fork to shape them but that cumbersome task is for someone really desperate to make them look as authentic as possible. I figured since mine were light and pillowy I said fuck it on shaping them properly via fork method. Plus, my 'rents could give a rat's ass on how they look so long as they taste delicious. I figured this was relevant to my post some way or another... I guess it really wasn't. I just wanted to share my ridiculously good gnocchi.
I still have a ton to post about, but I need to get my ass going to work. I ended up sleeping in this morning until like 7 and had to get my ass back to the folks house from the north end of the valley so I'm running late today. Normally I'm home before 7 in the morning these days, so, I'm on the slow side today and will probably continue to be for the rest of the day. What's worse is that I did a big hike yesterday and my body is totally sore and I'm doing muay thai tonight. I'm doing muay thai 2-3x a week now and I feel like my body never stops hurting. I suppose that's a good thing. I'll try to get back to posting regularly, I know I've been blogger MIA. I'm working on it. I promise.

Ouch.

I know I've been slacking on the updates. I should be revoked of all blogger-status I once had because I've been severely neglecting blogger world. I mean, it's not like I have a real purpose to this blog anyway. It's just me recording my life and occasionally I rant and rave about my thoughts that don't necessarily make sense. I've been so exhausted lately on so many levels that it's been hard for me to gather my thoughts to blog. It's not even 1 am and I'm struggling to stay awake. I used to suffer from extreme insomnia and now I'm going to bed regularly around midnight and waking up around 6 in the morning. It's weird to be like a normal person, with normal hours, with a normal life and without being caught up in my nutcase brain at 4 am when it has nothing to do other than fester in its own thoughts.

I suppose the reason why I am updating now is because I'm actually home, in my own bed and hanging out with my dog. I don't really spend a whole heck of a lot of time at home anymore. I guess that's sort of part of my BIG announcement, which once again I will not speak of in this post. I like the elusiveness of it all. Anyway, so I'm home tonight because I did muay thai earlier and opted to stay here. Now I can't seem to shut off my brain to sleep so here I am, half asleep, cranky, bloated, crampy and blogging. I'll end this post for now and continue some other day.

My paper came back in the mail.

Remember that bitch of a paper I was venting about for my history class? Or maybe I didn't write about it because I've been too busy in la-la land. Anyway, my final for my history class was a gigantic research paper. I put it off until the last 24 hours were winding down. I finished it with half an hour to spare and I didn't even edit it. Here's my professor's commentary:

People wonder why I love myself so damn much. It's probably because I pull straight A's with minimal effort. I need a MENTAL CHALLENGE IN MY LIFE. This professor is actually a professor at UCLA and she's going to give me a letter of recommendation. That, in conjunction with my honors courses that are guaranteed admittance to UCLA, I'm fairly certain that in the near future I will finally be getting the challenges that I need. For now, I coast on minimal effort. My bosses tell me that I shouldn't settle for anything less than Berkeley because I'm Cal material, or so they say... (they're all Cal guys, I suppose they know best) - but we'll see.

I still haven't made my announcement because I am a slacker and a retard. I may wait a bit longer to announce it but whatever. Let me just say that NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT. But it really is a big announcement. :)