Ouch.

I know I've been slacking on the updates. I should be revoked of all blogger-status I once had because I've been severely neglecting blogger world. I mean, it's not like I have a real purpose to this blog anyway. It's just me recording my life and occasionally I rant and rave about my thoughts that don't necessarily make sense. I've been so exhausted lately on so many levels that it's been hard for me to gather my thoughts to blog. It's not even 1 am and I'm struggling to stay awake. I used to suffer from extreme insomnia and now I'm going to bed regularly around midnight and waking up around 6 in the morning. It's weird to be like a normal person, with normal hours, with a normal life and without being caught up in my nutcase brain at 4 am when it has nothing to do other than fester in its own thoughts.

I suppose the reason why I am updating now is because I'm actually home, in my own bed and hanging out with my dog. I don't really spend a whole heck of a lot of time at home anymore. I guess that's sort of part of my BIG announcement, which once again I will not speak of in this post. I like the elusiveness of it all. Anyway, so I'm home tonight because I did muay thai earlier and opted to stay here. Now I can't seem to shut off my brain to sleep so here I am, half asleep, cranky, bloated, crampy and blogging. I'll end this post for now and continue some other day.

My paper came back in the mail.

Remember that bitch of a paper I was venting about for my history class? Or maybe I didn't write about it because I've been too busy in la-la land. Anyway, my final for my history class was a gigantic research paper. I put it off until the last 24 hours were winding down. I finished it with half an hour to spare and I didn't even edit it. Here's my professor's commentary:

People wonder why I love myself so damn much. It's probably because I pull straight A's with minimal effort. I need a MENTAL CHALLENGE IN MY LIFE. This professor is actually a professor at UCLA and she's going to give me a letter of recommendation. That, in conjunction with my honors courses that are guaranteed admittance to UCLA, I'm fairly certain that in the near future I will finally be getting the challenges that I need. For now, I coast on minimal effort. My bosses tell me that I shouldn't settle for anything less than Berkeley because I'm Cal material, or so they say... (they're all Cal guys, I suppose they know best) - but we'll see.

I still haven't made my announcement because I am a slacker and a retard. I may wait a bit longer to announce it but whatever. Let me just say that NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT. But it really is a big announcement. :)

Photos.

Entirely too lazy to update.

BARF.

I didn't know one could overdose on grilled veggies. I guess when you eat the equivalent to 4 Mexican squash, 2 red onions, 3 bunches of baby green onions and 2 bell peppers and attempt to get up, you wonder why suddenly you feel like passing out on the floor might be the best option.

Sometimes it sucks being entirely too full, too lazy and too almost-barf to update. I keep thinking my brain will click on and something funny will happen and it's just not happening. So, fuck all of you. Goodnight.

What a fucking mess.

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. But I'm not ready to announce it yet. It's weird to have announcements to make but not wanting to make them for whatever stupid reason I have in my brain.

I'll continue avoiding that announcement by just saying that I was hammered all weekend. Now that school is over (well, I'm taking a course this summer but I'm sans homework for a few weeks), I have given myself permission to be a terrible drunk again - and I'm workin' the crazy drunk thing very well. Go me.

What a bunch of cry babies.

Oh for fuck's sake. If I would have known my parents that stalk my blog would call me an antisemitic bitch and complain about what a terrible human I am about my kosher rant I probably would have clarified myself a bit better. I offered to wear a Star of David for a week but that only made matters worse.

Look, the reality is that I don't just hate Judaism. I hate ALL religion. The reason I chose Judaism to bitch about yesterday is because I believe in equal opportunity eating which means EAT EVERYTHING and rules for food declared by God are for the weak minded and anorexic. I THINK RELIGION IS A BUNCH OF SHIT AND IF THERE IS A GOD, HE WOULD NOT CHOOSE ONE GROUP OF BELIEVERS TO GO INTO HEAVEN AND EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING TO HELL. How is it that religion has NOT been transposed for political gain or for one to be seen as some sort of diacritical entity over the centuries? Just because religions are composed of lies in a sick and twisted game of telephone that has lasted entire too long means it must be true? The reality is that if you believe in religion you believe in something that cannot be proven to be true. If you're going to sit here and argue that it is true, then clearly you are the biggest moron on the face of the Earth because THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY YOU CAN PROVE THAT GOD, OR THAT YOUR RELIGION, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE, IS TRUE AND CORRECT AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT ISN'T A PART OF YOUR CULT IS WRONG. The reality is that if there is a Heaven, and if there is a Hell, the good will go where they belong and the bad will go where they belong. I think I'm such a despicable person that I will not be accepted into Hell and if I am I will be given the title as the Devil's Sex Slave because the Devil would thoroughly enjoy me in every single way possible. In essence, I'm only saying that I hate all religion and I hate people who adhere to stupid rules about food that make no sense. That's all. So if you think I hate Jews more than I hate people of other religions, you're dead wrong. I hate everyone equally - and that's the bottom line.

So.

I haven't slept in my own bed in weeks. I feel like I live out of my car and that's fine because I prefer the nomad lifestyle. I miss my dog a lot so I've been obsessively taking pictures with her when I am home. My mom complains that she "sleeps like a swastika" because my dog forces her to sleep in a position where you'd look at her and instantly think of Jewish genocide. I would feel bad for her but quite frankly, I think it's hilarious. I'm hoping one of these days I come home and find her in a Nazi uniform and watch her try blame it on my dog some way or another. Sometimes I forget that I have a ton of Jewish blood in me (as in, my grandma is an Auschwitz survivor) and although I should probably embrace that stupid religion, I wish I could bleed myself of it. I think Judaism is the dumbest religion on the planet. My reason for sincerely disliking Judaism is because Kosher eating is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Kosher Jews WASTE half of a perfectly good cow because it's not Kosher. This angers me greatly and I don't think any cow should have to die for half of it to get thrown away. Let's not even go into not eating pork (well, lots of religions are guilty of this but they don't waste HALF of a cow), not eating shell fish (HELLO, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?), not eating meat with cheese is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of and clearly Jews have terrible palates because if you have never experienced a Cuban sandwich then should probably just die... The whole idea of owning two separate tableware spreads because of said meat and cheese rule is clearly for the rich and stupid. Look, the reality is that I don't care who the fuck you worship because it's all bullshit anyway. Religion has been transposed by the wrong hands over the centuries to control you and keep you ignorant. It's when religion crosses into food that it pisses me off. So I suppose I hate all religions. It's just Judaism that makes me the angriest. Come to think of it, the funniest thing ever is when I say "Ginger Israeli" to Jamie and he automatically shakes his fist in fury. It's like Trey Parker is living in his head. I keep threatening him with the promise of a ginger Israeli. It's like I'm asking to die South Park style with disembowelment and lots of vomits.

I guess the point to this post is just to post. I need to watch what I say on here now that MY BOSSES STALK MY BLOG. I guess that's okay because they're awesome people that probably need mental help. I mean, if one takes the time to actually read my blog then clearly they need mental help. It's obvious that my bosses need mental help if they read this. I DO NOT CARE IF THEY READ THIS TO BETTER THEIR OWN LIVES TO TALK SHIT TO ME ABOUT MY BLOG. THE POINT IS THAT THEY READ MY BLOG AND THEREFORE THEY ARE COMPLETELY BATSHIT CRAZY. Love you guys. Really.