Someone put a curse on my money.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and complain about my finances. If anything, I'm obnoxiously spoiled but that doesn't mean I don't deserve cold hard cash sometimes. I'm my grandma's one and only; I'm the love of her life. Every time grandma comes to visit she feels like I'm still 12 and gives me money. I can't say no otherwise she'll get mad at me, yell at me in Spanish and throw shoes at me. To make it worse, if I do say NO, I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY, she'll give said cash to my mom that will hoard that money and remind me that I'm like $100,000 in debt to her from my previous shopping addictions and she'll "deduct it." In other words, I never see again. I've learned to take money for grandma, say thank you, give her a hug and a kiss and not ask questions. The last time I asked her why she was giving me $100 she said "because you need it." Apparently she's afraid I'm headed towards prostitution or cocaine dealing. Cocaine dealing runs in the family. I'm Cuban, you know, of course I have coke dealers in my family. Well, I did in the 1980s, then they got shot up like Tony Montana in a blaze of bullet glory. I was too young to know them so I guess it's not totally unethical to talk about it, right? Anyway, so back to grandma giving me money. The last few times she has given me money somewhere in the hundreds my dog will suddenly need emergency medical care within 12 hours. My dog went from being the healthiest dog on the planet that never took a bad step to suddenly being Queen Klutz and allergic to everything. It just so happens that yesterday my grandma gave me money on Mother's Day because she thinks I'm pregnant with a bastard child and I need to start a college fund for it. Coincidentally, today my dog ended up at the vet over severe allergies and left me with $12 dollars of grandma's money leftover.

Now, the issue I'm facing is telling my grandma to stop giving me money because someone put a curse on any cash that comes from her and ends up in my hands. I guess I could tell her that I take checks but then it would seem like I'm a thankless bitch. Voodoo seems like a valid option at this point, I'm just afraid terrible things will happen. Wish me luck.