Meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox.

Is it time for Caribbean fun? Because I'm pretty sure I'm sick of laying around in my underwear because my mom is having major cold flashes and is CONSTANTLY turning on the fucking heater. If I'm going to be BBQed like a brisket, it better be somewhere tropical with my skin wrapped in banana leaves. If it were not for insane amounts of reading for my exams next week, I sure as Hell wouldn't be suffocating in my sauna of a house. I guess the good thing about sweating all the fucking time is that it helps with my weight loss. As it turns out, I've lost a shit ton of weight not doing much. Mostly boozing. I am the wonder woman that has miracle weight loss via alcohol diet, all while maintaining a certain level of sobriety enough to get work done. I was recently contemplating the The 3 C's Diet, which consists of coffee, cigarettes and cocaine. Unfortunately cocaine isn't plentiful and I don't care for smoking. Caffeine I have under control, no doubt. The only thing I really do is just dance naked to Shakira and now people are telling me my body resembles hers. I wonder if I danced to The Rolling Stones if I would somehow end up looking like Mick Jagger, because looking older than one should, having borderline emaciation and being of the opposite sex is the new look now-a-days. I no longer have a clue what this world is coming to.