Smeagol.

The most brilliant piece of music I've ever had the pleasure of listening to is "Dougie" by California Swag District. If you haven't listened to it, stop what you're doing this very second and look it up on youtube. This song was written by a lyrical genius and I honestly don't think the hip-hop world will ever top this. Because of my undying love for this song, I insist on playing it for everyone. Case in point: The other day at my friend Jason's house, I looked at him and said it was time to Dougie. Of course he looked at me like I was nutso, which is nothing new, but after I played it he too had fallen in love with the dance that is known as the DOUGIE. Again, if you have not looked this up by now you should stop reading my blog and look up that fucking video.

At some point things got weird when I was wound up on 8 cups of coffee and I decided to Smeagol instead of Dougie. I was caught up in explaining how I look like Smeagol in the morning (see picture posted above) and that somehow translated into a song and dance in my head. I crouched over like a creep, pulled my hair back and hobbled around the room like i was in search of a precious ring. It was pretty amazing and I'm 99% positive Jocelyn pissed her pants. She got up and said IT'S AN EMERGENCY, I REALLY NEED TO PEE. Jason later checked his couch for pee stains and he questioned a couple of wet spots but nothing was confirmed to actually be pee.

So with said dance came the lyrics:

Teach me how to Smeagol,
Teach me, teach me how to Smeagol.
All my precious love me
All my, all my precious love me.
YOU AIN'T FUCKIN WITH MY PRECIOUS.

I highly suggest everyone do this, record it, post it on youtube and make it an internet phenomenon.