and i am, what i am, and i am, a trainwreck.

I think I've said this before, but a combination of being stoned and drunk is probably the most pain-numbing, relaxing feeling one could ever ask for - without being in a total comatose state and still being able to enjoy oneself. They key is to pace out the drinking and stoning - so that you get to yourself to where you're comfortable and happy, without going insane and throwing shit or wanting to puke on yourself. That's no fun. Do it right - relax and enjoy yourself. uh-huh.

Tonight at Nate's I decided tonight was one of the few nights that I leave my house and do one (much less both) things. Nate's house is a play pen... With all the toys, building blocks, coloring books and anything else a big kid could ask for. It also comes with fog machines, strobe lights, good music and fun people. The only thing that it is missing is a stripper pole and I would be really super stoked if he got one. I'm hoping Nate will read this, get inspired and go out and buy one. I'll practice until I can give Felix Cane a run for her money.

Somewhere mid-stone and off in lala thinking land, I realized that I try to think of too much stuff at once when I'm stoned. The problem is that if I'm drinking, I'm unable to process it deeply enough, especially long enough to write it down. That gets on my nerves. I like writing about everything I'm thinking about. The problem is if I get stoned without alcohol I can't let loose and enjoy myself. I put on the thinking cap until it's melted into my brain and I'm in over analyzing morbid Hell and I can't just enjoy my thoughts. I need to find a happy balance between the two. However, I did manage to text my mom of all people about some Cuban food-inspired ideas for new dishes. At least I have some ideas from tonight to work off of. Otherwise, all my deep thoughts I had tonight have been thrown out the window. Writing this blog with my headphones on and blasting 3oh!3 doesn't help, either. Whatever.

In other news, I made fucking delicious drunken clams for dinner and homemade kalamata olive bread rolls. This means that shin splints or not, I'm running tomorrow... mainly because I followed everything with some ice cream. it's true. deep down, i am a really fat person.