Quarantine.

I'm currently under quarantine. I spent the entire weekend sweating in my sheets trying to fight off a flu and then after suffering for so long I decided to end this battle and go to the doctor. I feel so vulnerable when I go to the doctor. I get poked and prodded, get touched with very cold instruments and very cold hands. I get questioned like I'm a drug addict looking for a fix with some prescription sizzurp and pain pills. I must be an incredible actress to somehow fake the ocean of snot in my lungs and I purposefully sat in a 150 degree sauna so I could temperature out with a decently high fever.

Anyway, so being bed ridden means I'm spending a lot of time with myself and not even in the kind of way that I'd want to. I'm stuck in my bed with my dog and my tv. Apparently I need reading glasses because reading with a fever equates to the biggest headache I could NEVER want. So, TV it's been --- and there's nothing of value on TV. Anywhere. Either I am stuck with the ever so politically correct children's shows or Bob Ross. Even Paula Deen doesn't make for quality TV anymore. Seeing that fat old granny make all those sexual advances on her guests and mouth fuck sticks of butter like they're dicks just doesn't make for decent TV anymore. Bridalplasty? Married to Rock? Jersey Shore? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HUMANS ARE WE GLORIFYING IN THIS WORLD? People who have accomplished nothing? Who prefer to fuck around, get in bar fights, marry for money, swim in plasty surgery, money money money?

The bitch that pisses me off the most is Kris Jenner. HEY KRIS JENNER, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU WIN THE WORST MOTHER ON THE PLANET AWARD. I THOUGHT DINA LOHAN WAS BAD BUT YOU'RE FAR WORSE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL DROP OFF ALL YOUR KIDS AT BROTHELS AND FORCE THEM INTO SEXUAL FAVORS FOR MONEY. MAYBE MAKE SOME MORE AND SELL THEM ABROAD FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.

And don't get me wrong, I'm totally FOR women working in brothels --- so long as it's on the woman's own terms and it's HER decision. But this Kris Jenner bitch seriously is just whoring out her daughter for her own benefit. And I get that *most* of her kids are adults, but exploiting her adult children is a REALLY BAD example for her under aged children. If it weren't for the fact that Bruce Jenner is a decent human being those kids would probably be a bunch of freeloading junkies. And how the hell is that Khloe bitch related? I want a paternity test. I demand her father's body be exhumed and there's a paternity place test. That beast is something draggy with shit for an attitude.

The only quality TV I'm getting in this Godforsaken punishment of influenza is Sex and the City. and you know what? I always hated this show. I still sorta hate this show. Sometimes I want to take that Miranda cunt and punt her across the room. Her character of "oh me oh my I'm so successful no one wants to bang me because I'm successful" drives me up the fucking wall. No bitch, no one wants to bang you because you have a bull dyke haircut on top of being a ginger with a negative attitude. They casted a lesbian who can't even remotely play the role of a hetero. CMON. It's like the writers of this show didn't even try to make Miranda even remotely enjoyable. Charlotte also pisses me off but only because I want to put a gagball in her mouth and tell her to take it like a big girl, shut up and get over it. I'm like a fucked up version of Samantha and Carrie but TOTALLY dating Mr. Big. My boyfriend is absolutely Mr. Big in so many ways that remind me of how I should really slap him sometimes but then my inner Samantha kicks in and I'm happy as a pig in shit. I'm glad there are no new episodes of this shit to ever plague my TV. Reruns of the same old shit. I can't be comparing myself to crappy old hags that have drinking problems because I have nothing better to do.