Do you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed and shit just doesn't go right all day? Like stupid fucking shit that makes you question if you're having a fucking mini stroke because it just doesn't make sense otherwise? As in, spilling shit all day, knocking shit over all day, falling, getting blocked out of my car with no way to get inside of my car, misplacing things... Just to name a few. I mean, really. What the fuck kind of weird shit did I do to get whatever fucked up karma a'la Murphy's Law today? Even worse, I received some fucking letter in the mail from some crematory for me to be aware that I am going to die soon and I need to be prepared for when I die, so I don't leave my dead body for someone else to pay for. Hey, fuck you crematory, I don't have kids yet and when I do I will make sure those money sucking little bastards pay for my funeral. Their inheritance will be spent exclusively for my grandiose mausoleum made of white granite with statues of half naked men in ancient Grecian attire. By Grecian attire I actually just mean those wrap up sandals and a grape leaf headpiece. And by half naked I mead fully naked with hard ons. Big hard ons. Fuck you, future kids. Since I'm forced to go out, I'm going out in style and I will stay stylish until the Earth blows up.
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