Recaps and Unavailability.

Writing my recap of 2009 is proving to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. I'm sort of walking on egg shells on the ex subject because I really don't want to talk about him at all in my recap, although he was around for a majority of the year. I feel like I'm completely devoid of any thoughts and memories of him yet I know he was there and greatly impacted many of my decisions I had made throughout the year. It's weird to think that I literally spent 6.5 years of my life with a person and I have no fond, strong or clear memories of him. I don't what I did but I feel as though I literally flushed everything I knew of him out of my system. All I am left with is a name, a time period and KNOWING he was there without remembering exact moments or feelings and even old pictures don't move me. My brain washed away the good times with the bad times. I suppose since the bad outweighed the majority, it was easy to lose the good memories. C'est la vie, as they say.

Lately my life has been anything but mundane. I'm juggling too many things at once and eventually I will lose sight of one of my juggling pins to only find it when it's too late and landing on my head. I've almost been living a fantasy life, and I'm constantly pinching myself to make sure the things that are happening are true. It's literally like my life changed overnight into this world of pleasure and self [good] torment. I'm not sure whether it's luck, karma or just my ability to see clearly, but something in the air, water, universe is aligning with whatever possesses me to do the things I do in a supremely fantastic way. This time a year ago I would have never considered flying as much as I have been and will continue to be flying so long as I'm temporarily satiated at the end of the journey. Like I said a couple of weeks back, I've learned not to ask questions (or at least unnecessary ones) and let go. It's been fun and I can't wait for more.

My 'secret' trip is in 8 days. I feel like I've been counting down for this for months and now it's just about a week away of seeing someone really, truly incredible and special.