Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Ehhh, ok, I'll stay.


No, I didn't get implants. What I did get was a really fucking expensive push-up bra that makes my tits look big (for me) and that makes me happy.
I guess bras like these can delay me getting implants. The good thing about having small tits is that they're perky. Really perky. 13 year old perky. All my friends with big tits are getting old and so are their tits. Old tits just aren't attractive unless you like granny porn, and that's just weird. Anyway, enough about my small tits.

So I posted that I was going to get rid of this blog and then I got bipolar again and decided to keep this blog. I've decided to have a happy medium and do both. When I'm hormonal and want to kill the world, I'll take my rantings over there. When I don't give a fuck and feel like writing stupid shit because I'm bored and can't sleep, I'll post here. Cool? Cool.

On a semi-related note, I find it really fucking creepy when anonymous readers go back months, often times a year or two or three and then comment on an old ass post. I get that my blog is public and I get that by me posting public shit that you have the right to say whatever you want, but that doesn't make it any less creepy. HEY CREEPIES, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE CREEPY, AT LEAST GIVE UP YOUR NAME! I HATE RESPONDING BACK TO ANONYMOUS PEOPLE! Just thought I'd throw that out there. Creeps.

Since I have too much to update, I'll just post a few notes about my life.

First and foremost, I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR A YEAR. WTF? Where did the year go? As it turns out, I still don't hate him and I still love looking at him naked. Big plus.

Secondly, I made my goal weight for my initial weight loss. I did it by eating a lot, semi-working out, having a lot of sex, giving up alcohol and tripling my coffee intake. With that said, I plan on dropping another 10 pounds and then I'll be thinner than I was in high school. It's awesome to be at a point where all my new jeans are too big for me. When I went to the east coast in November, I took my smallest pair of jeans that I barely fit in and I forced myself to wear them even if I had a muffin top so I wouldn't over-eat all over the east coast. Now I can take them straight out of the dryer and I'm swimming in them. Damn fucking right.

Third, I had family come visit me from Hungary I didn't know I had. Apparently when my dad lived in Hungary he stayed with them and whatever. I thought all my family from Hungary was Jewish and died in WW2 except for the few that came here. Apparently this family is Catholic and didn't get gassed or burned or a combo of the two. I'm not sorry if that seems insensitive. My grandma survived Auschwitz, so I don't give a fuck. Anyway, so this family I thought was going to be all shitty like my grandma but as it turns out, they're cool people. Probably because they're Catholic and didn't grow up with that I ALMOST GOT GASSED OR BURNED guilt looming over them all the time. So my dad and my cousin Miki who's just a few years older than I am have been e-mailing each other in that horrific language they call Magyar and are planning on sending me to Budapest sometime in the Fall. THANKS FAMILY. I don't know what the Hell I'm going to do in Budapest without my dad around. I can only say a few words in Hungarian, most of them are food related. At least I'll know how to order. My dad taught me how to say "I just shit my pants" in Hungarian but that's not going to help me at all, at least I hope I don't have that problem throughout Budapest. I don't understand how my dad speaks that fucking terrible sounding language fluently and never taught me. NEVER. I don't see how all these years I've learned Spanish, I was in a private French-only speaking school for a couple of years and kept up with private lessons, then they put me in a Russian speaking only Catholic Saturday school for a short amount of time but NEVER bothered to teach me Hungarian? DEAR PARENTS, YOU GUYS ARE STUPID. REALLY STUPID. NOW I NEED HUNGARIAN AND ITS YOUR FAULT I DON'T KNOW IT.

At least if I go to Budapest I have an automatic visit to my family in Madrid because if I'm going to fly across the pond I'm NOT going to just fly over Spain and go SORRY FAMILY, YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE $200 FLIGHT FROM BUDAPEST TO SEE. Hell no. I love my family and Madrid too much to ever go to Europe without making at least a few day stop. YAY, A LANGUAGE I CAN SPEAK!

I guess that's it. Goodnight, creeps. Especially you, Anna. Amanda, you too.



Sunday, March 20, 2011

tomorrow is my birthday.

and if this weekend is a precursor to what tomorrow will be like, i might as well just stay in bed all day. this one takes the cake for worst birthday ever. what a terrible weekend this has been. actually, what a terrible month this has been.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Something's really fucking fishy.

Besides the fact that I might blow up my fucking piece of shit Cadillac, some shit just isn't adding up and I'm really pissed off about it. The problem herein is that I am vengeful. Oh well.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Amanda says my blog sucks.

When your best friend tells you that your blogs sucks, the only way to rectify the suck is by slapping yourself and snapping the fuck out of it.

Let's get this straight, there's nothing too terribly wrong with me. Sometimes I'll get something stuck in my head and need an outlet and my twitter is littered with random people who tweet me weird shit so I put it on here. APPARENTLY AMANDA THINKS MY RANDOM THOUGHTS SUCK. Well, next time she thinks I suck I'm going to buy a strap on, bend her over and destroy her lady parts and wonder if she'll think I still suck. Maybe after I put her in a wheelchair she will, but not during. JUST SAYIN'.

In the life of me, nothing is new. There really isn't anything to blog about. I haven't killed my boyfriend, although he thinks I'm trying to make him fat. Maybe a little. Just a little. But only because I get off watching him devour plates of food I make him rather than get off on body fat. It's a different kind of totally fucked up fetish. What else? I got my very first cavity filled, I dreamed of blowing up my car and then almost went forward with it. I went on a carrot cake baking binge but sadly not an eating binge. This whole "omg I weigh almost what I did when I was 17" thing has consumed my life and possibly in a creepy way without the vomits.

Otherwise, life is good. Now leave me alone.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

hard restart

I have you now,
Just in my dreams,
You came with my glass slipper.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011