Get out of my head.

I can't wait for anything anymore.

I'm literally becoming impatient when it comes to everything in my life. That also includes the good, the bad and everything I am indifferent with. I'm not sure whether I'm reverting back to my childhood where I'm throwing temper tantrums but I'm literally on the brink of going completely insane. I know I keep saying this, but I'm getting closer and closer to that insanity being a real locked-down, padded room type of mental breakdown.

Right now, I blame part of my insanity on the fact that I'm getting on a plane in 2 days. I hate planes. We know this from previous posts, right? I'm not looking forward to 12 hours worth of plane rides, however, it will be worth it once it's done and over with. It will be nice to get away to a country that feels like home - one that I probably should be living in because it's so fantastic. I know the economy sucks and the job market does not exist for non-Spaniards (I will be applying for citizenship in the near future), but the food is great, the people are fun and plus I have great family there. Besides a Spanish-speaking vibrator, there's not much more I could want out of Spain.

The other reason I'm going insane is because I keep dreaming of things completely out of my reach that I have absolutely no control of. It's annoying when they're reoccurring and I don't even want to sleep at night because waking up in the morning is frustrating. I loathe frustration. I can deal with every emotion under the sun in one way or another, however, the only emotion I cannot deal with whatsoever is frustration because it's neither sad or happy, just indifference. And that, right there, pisses me off but I never get heated enough over it to just let it out in a crazy, hormonal rage. Again, frustration is exactly what it is: frustration. The best way to describe it is what I call the HARD RED DEATH (the female equivalent to blue balls). I have absolutely no way of curing said frustrations without dealing with the problems (or wanted 'problems') head-on. I should probably get on that. Soon, I hope.