Hunchie McHunch.

I wish I had something to complaint about. As it turns out, I've been a lazy bum lately and instead of being a beach bum I've been a boat bum. I've been spending more time on my friend Mike's boat than I have doing anything of any significant value. My face is turning a nice shade of black from being out in the sun so much but I guess I'm okay with having a face 20 times darker than my body.


The only thing I have to share is that I frequent this one message board on MySpace because a good friend of mine IRL runs it. [YES, I said IRL] - Anyway, so there's this topic about how much would you spend on a pet for a vet visit and what's your limit before you say goodbye and blah blah and this one chick that looks exactly like Quasimodo posted how she spent nearly a grand on her pet chicken that had like smallpox or some fucking weird thing like than then spent 3 months "rehabbing" it.

I replied to her and told her for me to consider spending a grand on a pet chicken would only be if it layed golden eggs. And the only other circumstance where I'd spend a G on a chicken if it Bobby Flay made it for me and then followed that with him eating my pussy for an hour.

Sometimes I just don't understand the crazyness in this world. No wonder I am either a total recluse or out on the ocean.

Horse caca.

Owning a horse is the stupidest thing a person can do. Unless you're made out of TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS or you REALLY enjoy being broke every single moment of your life, then I guess it's ok to be a horse owner. Otherwise, horse ownership is for the very stupid. Clearly I was once very stupid.

Let me just say that my horse has brought me a great deal of inner strength and emotional support in hard times and blah blah, but instead of hugging a stupid fucking horse I should have been hugging a bottle of xanax which is significantly cheaper. Since this past fall when I decided I wanted to sell my horse, she has been nothing but a pain in the ass and a pain in my wallet. My horse has been nothing but a barrel of STUPID FUCKING PROBLEMS that are all expensive and irritating. I am at the point now where I am going to sell her per pound to Carni Equine because that seems to be my only option of getting rid of her. Otherwise I might just ask my dad if I can borrow his shotgun and put a slug between her eyes.

Furthermore, put it on the record that I hate horses. If I could possibly grow anymore disdain for the thought of horse ownership I would probably be spewing hate fire out of my nose. I probably wouldn't have a problem if she mysteriously disappeared off the face of this Earth.