While the rest of you assholes were drinking green beer, I was at work - then school (and sleeping in my car for an hour) - then meeting for my honors class (because additional homework and papers requires MEETINGS!?!?!?) - now home and reading.
So, fuck all of you that got hammered. NOT ME. It's ok. I have all weekend.
I cook way too much for my own good and I spend a majority of my income at Whole Foods. I speak and write exclusively in hyperbole and satire. I have a very big Doberman Pinscher named Sierra Havana that wants the opportunity to eat a baby. I finally got rid of my horse and now all I want to do is travel the world. I believe in ghosts because I see dead people. I get anxiety attacks when I do not have my cell phone with me because I need rehab for blackberry messenger. I'm not ashamed to have a closet full of sex toys. I'm an equal opportunity hater and eater. I would love the life of a hermit crab or Anthony Bourdain. I want 30 slaves and I don't care where they come from as long as I can beat them.
No comments:
Post a Comment