Getting there.

Redoing the staining on the cabinets, putting in a new stove, replacing the door to the dishwasher with stainless, paint in the guest bedroom, carpet in both bedrooms, new front door and then it's done.

Christmas ham? Why not the whole hog?

I figure if you can't take a sawzall to the head of a pig, remove the brain and use them for fritters later --- then you probably have no business eating pork. This pork was my Christmas dinner for my family, friends, and some randoms. 60 pounds of pork meat goes a long way and makes for good times, especially when paired with a lot of booze.

The never ending house project.

So, about that move in October 1...

We would be moved in to our place by now if I wasn't such a cry baby and basically sighed and sighed and sighed and sighed every time I walked into our house and looked at that horrific kitchen that used to be there. Granted this kitchen is still not up to my spoiled, rotten child standards with slab Italian black granite and Viking appliances... But this is not so bad for a starter home. At least it's all new, even if it's on the cheap. I have a picture somewhere but I'm embarrassed to post it, being that it was going to be my kitchen until magically the kitchen got completely torn apart. Thanks boyfriend (who never reads my blog) for actually paying attention to, and understanding, what all those sighs were about. :)

Hopefully we will be in some time around New Year. I can't wait for our place to be done.

Food Lately.

The following pictures are the reason why my boyfriend loves me:

Spiced pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting.
White grits cakes with a spice cherry-cranberry compote, duck confit and a fried & salted sage leaf.

Chicken liver and black truffle pate.

Herb and butter crostinis with a gorgonzola-honey mousse, caramelized pears and a fried shallot ring.

Duck confit right out of the oven after poaching for 6+ hours.


Butternut squash soup.

Olive oil and garlic pizza topped with homemade veal sausage, mushrooms and fresh mozzarella.

The anti-sexy.

For Halloween, I decided to get creative and not be the stereotypical "sexy-something" that all girls feel like they need to be for Halloween. Sorry to all the women out there who feel the need to look as cheap as their costumes, but quite frankly, I'm just not into that.

So for my friend's party on Saturday I dressed as a mime. A very unsexy, very creepy mime. But that mime costume is not as fucking awesome as my dirty 90's-era hoodrat/chola that I was for Halloween night. What's sad is that I felt like I had to explain to a million people that I was not a fucking drag queen but a 90's era chola. While I get that the new-skool cholas ( 'newskool' is spelled with a k when saying that, right?) are attempting to look like poor LA hipsters distinguishable only be a twinge more makeup and gigantic gold hoop earrings, the 90's cholas were borderline drag queens and THAT'S what I grew up with.

Believe it or not, at one point in time I didn't live in a rich LA suburb. At one point in time my parents had very little money, both worked two jobs to send me to private schools to keep me out of the gang ridden schools. At one point in time I lived in a neighborhood where people barely spoke English (or Spanish for that matter), where welfare checks were spent on terribly long nails and cheap make up. Within this neighborhood were tons of gangbanger-vato-whatever don't look at him because he might shoot you people --- and a bunch of hood rats that all looked like drag queens. I feel sorta bad in some ways for my sheltered friends, because they didn't get to see those drag queens in flannel in all their glory like I did. What I did not do, which would have absolutely completed my outfit, was grease up my hair to make that wet curly look, but my hair would probably fall out if I put it through that sort of abuse.

I'm thinking next year I might go full blown drag queen. I mean, there's absolutely nothing sexy about a drag queen (sorry if that's your thing, but you clearly have sexuality issues you need to address). If not, I'm considering being the Cad Lady from The Simpsons. I'll borrow one of my grandma's old lady moomoos, put on a frazzled-hair wig, wear some furry sandals, carry around a trash bag and throw stuffed animal cats at people. If anyone has any suggestions for absolutely heinous costumes, let me know. I might need to have a "Half Way to Halloween" party sometime in the Spring and force everyone to come in costumes, just so I can dress up in something ridiculous and feel like the odd (w0)man out.

With that said, I hope everyone had a nice Halloween and if you dressed like a completely whorey-something, that at a minimum, you at least had sex that night. If you dressed up like a dirty hoe and there was not a penis in or around you that night, then I suggest maybe reevaluate your wrong-doings. Goodnight.

I never did talk about my trip.

I am seriously such a slacker. I have a mountain of things to do, seriously, and I've done nothing aside from laundry. I've done my boyfriend's laundry and my own, yet his is folded and mine is not. Lucky him. I also sat outside naked, enjoyed the sun beating down on my back and read a few more chapters of The Devil's Highway when I was supposed to be submitting resumes to find a 2nd job. As a sidenote, I believe every Californio should pick up this book and it doesn't matter where you stand politically, it's a good read on all those pesky Mexicans we always complain about. Don't act like you don't, because you do. Don't lie to yourself. And before you call me a racist, just know that my boyfriend is of Mexican-Yaqui Indian descent whose family has been here forever. So, can it. Just pick up the fucking book.

This morning I woke up on the wrong side of life today and everyone is managing to really piss me off. Because my boyfriend decided to plan MY ENTIRE WEEKEND for me with things-to-do including painting our house, I decided I better use this grumpy day of mine since my Saturday will be unavailable to read and relax. Sadly, this slack-time will inevitably bite me in the ass later on when I realize that I really did need to get X, Y, Z things done today. Whatever, I will deal with it when it comes.

I never really did talk about my trip aside from the fact that I fell in love with a horse; a damn cute horse at that. The picture above is with my brother who decided he hated California so much he wanted to move to bumfuck Kentucky. Actually, Kentucky is not as bumfucky as I had anticipated. It seems as though there's a good amount of coastal people moving to Lexington who have become tired of the hippies, the high taxes or just want an excuse to drink Bourbon daily and blame it on their newly adopted culture. I learned a few things about these MEAN AND TERRIBLE REPUBLICAN REDNECKS and you can consider these observations as blanket statements: These people are nice, REALLY nice. I've never met more considerate and nice people than in Kentucky. Kentucky folk have WORK ETHIC which is a true rarity it seems like these days. Kentucky folk do NOT shove Jesus down your throat other than in the true hillbilly area but in a really urban area like Lexington, Jesus isn't knocking on your door every other second. Not only that, but the state is CLEAN. My goodness everything is CLEAN. Eat off the road kinda clean. What I will say though is that no one eats healthy in Kentucky. I ate a Kentucky Hot Brown which nearly sent me to the hospital, cracklins', grits slathered in butter, some more pork products, BEERCHEESE which is another Kentucky regional food item which is a spread made of beer and cheese and it's disgustingly delicious and who knows what else I shoved down my throat. I seem to like doing that with fattening foods and other nameless things. That's what I gathered from Kentucky and it's a damn fine place to be. I don't blame my brother for moving. If Kentucky had better weather and mountains I'd be there in a heartbeat. Also, because I started my trip off in DC, I would like to make another blanket statement: HEY DC PEOPLE, FOR BEING A BUNCH OF POLITICALLY CORRECT LIBERALS, YOU GUYS SURE ARE ASSHOLES. I still love DC though, mostly because the women there are overwhelmingly ugly and the men are beautiful. I am seriously surprised more hot women don't go to DC to try to find a man. If I were single, DC would be a primo spot to find a good looking man. Just sayin'.

First post from my phone

Now I can blog all the damn time because I officially have the blogger app on my phone. Haaaaa!!!!