Picture Post.

Life over the past couple of days... at least what i could capture, anyway.












:)

From bikini to muay practice.

Before anyone bothers to ask, yes, I do work out at home in a regular bra. I figured if I can use it for a bikini top, and if I can also wear it for running around like a maniac while black-out drunk and getting in trouble, I can use it to work out in as well.

I'm in love with muay thai. I guess I should say that I love punching and kicking shit. I love being covered in bruises and having my body constantly hurt. I love being so winded that my lungs burn and I feel like I'm choking on my own spit. I love being drenched in my own sweat. This is seriously all I want to do in my free time. I'm at the point if I never socialize again, I'm totally okay with that, so long as I have a heavy bag to make fuck on.

I guess the point to this post is that I just wanted to reiterate my fucking awesomeness. I guess I can consider myself somewhat gangster now because I officially know how to throw bows. But I'm just a step up above gangster because my bows aren't for dancing, but for actually hurting people in the face. I wonder if I'll ever get to the level of doing competitive muay thai. One of these days I'd love to go ape shit bananas on a bitch. Hopefully I'll get that chance.

I guess in other news, I'm getting a bug up my ass to jump out of an airplane. I don't know what happened to me in recent months that suddenly I'm some combative and adrenaline junky, but I think plane jumping is next on my list of things to do. I said I wanted to do boxing and now I can't picture my life without it. Let's just pray that I don't become addicted to something that crazy. The likelihood of me dying on my first jump is slim since I'll be tandem with a professional, but the more I do it, the greater my chances get. So, once should be enough. Then maybe in the future I'll get in a shark tank. One step at a time.

Makeshift bikini.

Somewhere in my out-of-car living nonsense that I do, I lost my bikini. What's worse is that I JUST got it back last week from a friend's house and it's gone again. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THAT I AM LOSING MY ONE AND ONLY BIKINI? Clearly I need to invest in more bathing suits if I'm going to be losing them on the regular. Anyway, so while I spent a night at home on Saturday night (and slept on the couch because my room no longer feels like my room anymore), the rents decided to say FUCK YOU and leave me by myself on Sunday, which was Father's Day, because they are assholes. At least I made my dad breakfast, right? I also berated him a bit on Facebook, thank God he has a sense of humor and doesn't mind that I publicly announce that one day he will be a recipient of a Darwin Award and it's completely inevitable. Trust me, my dad has managed to survive a lot of stupidity on his part that should have resulted in death or accidental amputation. Anyway, so I figured tanning would be a great option... Needless to say that I took a pair of shorts and wedged them virtually up my asshole and used a strapless bra and wham, there was my bikini. My tan lines are all screwed up because of of hiking in a sports bra. I burned for the first time in California a few days back while going up the mountain mid-day because my friend is an asshole and showed up 2 hours late for our hike. One day she will learn that TWO HOURS LATE ON HIKING TIME = 25 DEGREE DIFFERENCE. I went through four bottles of water and poured them all over myself. I felt like some sort of Smartwater commercial, only not as pathetic. When I was done with the trail and reached the peak I felt fantastic but I was still a raging bitch that I was hiking in 90+ degree weather. Anyway, here's a picture of the burn... I know the angle is awkward and that's because I was at work going OH MY GOD MY SHOULDER HURTS LIKE A BITCH and that's the best I could do in the bathroom at work to see what's on my shoulder via front shot. So, fuck you if you don't think it's funny.

I think the most eventful thing I did all weekend was make gnocchi from scratch. Sometimes I get a bug up my ass to do things and when I do I must get them done. My mom made the unfortunate mistake of wanting to spend time with me on Saturday because she misses me and she took me shopping to a restaurant supply store in the valley. As I'm filling up my cart with shit I don't need (mostly because I already own everything a serious cook could want), I was like HEY MOM, I NEED TO REPLACE MY RICER SO I'M GETTING THIS and I forced her to buy me a bitchin' ricer that blew away my old one. So, within a few hours of being home I made gnocchi for the old folks. Apparently my gnocchi board is MIA so I left them as adorable little pillows. I tried using a fork to shape them but that cumbersome task is for someone really desperate to make them look as authentic as possible. I figured since mine were light and pillowy I said fuck it on shaping them properly via fork method. Plus, my 'rents could give a rat's ass on how they look so long as they taste delicious. I figured this was relevant to my post some way or another... I guess it really wasn't. I just wanted to share my ridiculously good gnocchi.
I still have a ton to post about, but I need to get my ass going to work. I ended up sleeping in this morning until like 7 and had to get my ass back to the folks house from the north end of the valley so I'm running late today. Normally I'm home before 7 in the morning these days, so, I'm on the slow side today and will probably continue to be for the rest of the day. What's worse is that I did a big hike yesterday and my body is totally sore and I'm doing muay thai tonight. I'm doing muay thai 2-3x a week now and I feel like my body never stops hurting. I suppose that's a good thing. I'll try to get back to posting regularly, I know I've been blogger MIA. I'm working on it. I promise.

Ouch.

I know I've been slacking on the updates. I should be revoked of all blogger-status I once had because I've been severely neglecting blogger world. I mean, it's not like I have a real purpose to this blog anyway. It's just me recording my life and occasionally I rant and rave about my thoughts that don't necessarily make sense. I've been so exhausted lately on so many levels that it's been hard for me to gather my thoughts to blog. It's not even 1 am and I'm struggling to stay awake. I used to suffer from extreme insomnia and now I'm going to bed regularly around midnight and waking up around 6 in the morning. It's weird to be like a normal person, with normal hours, with a normal life and without being caught up in my nutcase brain at 4 am when it has nothing to do other than fester in its own thoughts.

I suppose the reason why I am updating now is because I'm actually home, in my own bed and hanging out with my dog. I don't really spend a whole heck of a lot of time at home anymore. I guess that's sort of part of my BIG announcement, which once again I will not speak of in this post. I like the elusiveness of it all. Anyway, so I'm home tonight because I did muay thai earlier and opted to stay here. Now I can't seem to shut off my brain to sleep so here I am, half asleep, cranky, bloated, crampy and blogging. I'll end this post for now and continue some other day.

My paper came back in the mail.

Remember that bitch of a paper I was venting about for my history class? Or maybe I didn't write about it because I've been too busy in la-la land. Anyway, my final for my history class was a gigantic research paper. I put it off until the last 24 hours were winding down. I finished it with half an hour to spare and I didn't even edit it. Here's my professor's commentary:

People wonder why I love myself so damn much. It's probably because I pull straight A's with minimal effort. I need a MENTAL CHALLENGE IN MY LIFE. This professor is actually a professor at UCLA and she's going to give me a letter of recommendation. That, in conjunction with my honors courses that are guaranteed admittance to UCLA, I'm fairly certain that in the near future I will finally be getting the challenges that I need. For now, I coast on minimal effort. My bosses tell me that I shouldn't settle for anything less than Berkeley because I'm Cal material, or so they say... (they're all Cal guys, I suppose they know best) - but we'll see.

I still haven't made my announcement because I am a slacker and a retard. I may wait a bit longer to announce it but whatever. Let me just say that NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT. But it really is a big announcement. :)

Photos.

Entirely too lazy to update.

BARF.

I didn't know one could overdose on grilled veggies. I guess when you eat the equivalent to 4 Mexican squash, 2 red onions, 3 bunches of baby green onions and 2 bell peppers and attempt to get up, you wonder why suddenly you feel like passing out on the floor might be the best option.

Sometimes it sucks being entirely too full, too lazy and too almost-barf to update. I keep thinking my brain will click on and something funny will happen and it's just not happening. So, fuck all of you. Goodnight.