Tuesday, August 14, 2012

America, I'm learning you.



It's possible that I may be going through some sort of quarter life crisis, or maybe my mind stopped filtering out spontaneous acts of fiscal recklessness. I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking today, but I did something very dumb and it's taking me to the heart of Middle America: Ohio.

In my younger years, I always looked at the map of the US and said FUCK ALL THIS SHIT IN THE MIDDLE. I never really cared about travel because I was stupid, superficial and materialistic. I was so ethnocentric that anything outside of California, NYC or Miami, I honestly thought was below me and a waste of time. I never cared nor did I want to. I  closed my eyes, put my hand over my ears and yelled obscenities at the thought of anything other than my precious California.

As a side note, I also partly blame that on being wrapped up in a world of equines, the dressage kind of equines, the most bloody expensive sport in the world, with the least amount of participants that cannot even fake being down-to-earth. I surrounded myself with obsessive loonies. I was an obsessive loony. Granted while a few of my closest friends are still those obsessive loonies, they're not on the level of those psychotropic drug abusing elitists I rode with.

Then something happened. Something major happened.  Somewhere between selling my horse and getting royally fucked by a 'best friend' in the deal,  my very first trip to Europe care of my loving parents, a horrendous break-up of a relationship that lasted entirely too many years, a post-break up party binge, and whatever other shit I went through --- I woke up. I was enlightened. I found that America is not so bad after all. All the areas in the US so often belittled by media (Utah, Kentucky, North Carolina are prime examples) are the areas that make up REAL America. Hardworking, genuine, kind people. By the dozens (or thousands). I love real America. I am in love with Utah and all you ever hear is OMG EW MORMONS EW OMG. Zion? Arches? Canyonlands? DE QUE HABALS!? I learned that food in real America tastes better. That people care more. That you'll get for what you asked for instead of being told to deal with it and to pay for it with your first born.

I learned I actually despise California, the people in this state, the lifestyle this state promotes and the type of people this state breeds. From this point, I could rant on and on about the Hollywood crowd, the hypocritical liberal non-liberal policies of this state and the surplus of brainless blonde or Kardashian wanna-be drones. But I'll stop here, mainly because I'd like to sleep at some point tonight.

My point is that I'm going to see America. Real America. Not Hollywood back-drop or green-screened America. The America with a backbone and integrity. Abandoned warehouses, abandoned steel-mills, pig farms, the stark contrast between the influx of southern hospitality and the abrasiveness of eastern european culture. From fried chicken and smothered biscuits to kielbasas and chicken paprikash, as perfected over the generations. I will learn Ohio through its cuisine, and yes, that includes some chili on pasta.